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One
of the most devastating experiences in a couple's life is that of
divorced. It is the
definitive end to a relationship that once promised to be a life-long.
The end of that relationship begins a serious sense of loss all by
itself. But even beyond that
pain is the feeling of hopelessness, rejection and loneliness that may
many experience.
However, in times of such need the Church is ready and willing to help.
Ten years ago, Pam King began a Divorce Ministry here at St. Helen.
Now, Mary and Gary Ryan have assumed the responsibility for
coordinating the ministry. The
Ryans understand first-hand what divorced parishioners are going through
since they've both been
through a divorce and annulment themselves. This ministry allows them to
use their old experiences to help others.
Through the years, Mary has discovered that the best way to help
others heal after divorced is to direct the focus away from the loss.
“We get them to focus on themselves and process their
feelings,” she explains. “We
want them to look at themselves so that they can move on with their lives.
We help them get involved in things here at the parish and help them feel
accepted here.” While Mary
recognizes that divorce is “like a death,” the Divorce Ministry is not
a “dumping ground.” Instead
it is a support structures to help the to the participants to move beyond
the hurt and pain.
"Many
people have misconceptions about divorce," Mary explains.
"They them feel they can't receive communion and that they're
not a part of the Church because they're divorce."
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However,
that is not the case. "They
are still part of the Church," Mary explain explains.
Our divorce Ministry is available to help dispel some of the
misconceptions and to offer support during this trying time.
That divorce Ministry holds short series throughout the year, which
includes self-help courses, seminars with outside experts, and other
programs. Mary and Gary work closely with Dr. John Fitzgerald, a psychologist and a
St. Helen parishioner, who helps them decide what types of programs to
offer. They also bring Father
Edwards in at the beginning of some of the meetings, and he speaks about
how the church accepts and loves you, as her members.
Mary has seen this ministry helping a lot of divorced people clear
up their misconceptions about how the Church views divorce, and it has
helped them feel excepted and loved within our parish.
Mary encourages all divorced parishioners to participate in this ministry.
"We are not here to listen to your story and spread it around
town," she says reassuringly. "We stress confidentiality
recording anything that is shared."
However, she also explains that "you do not have to share your
story or do anything you don't want to do."
If
you are divorced, make plans to come and find out what this ministry is
about. The next program is
scheduled for April. Look in
the bulletin for more information. We
would love to have you join us! |
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